One of my new years resolutions was to learn more about what makes me tick. So far the learning curve is pretty steep…

During a term time week my morning routine is shit hot. I know what I need to do and in what order and once 9.30am comes I feel my whole body relax. If I’ve navigated the early morning well then the rest of the day can throw at me whatever it wants. I can take it.

But what happens if I don’t make it to 9.30am unscathed? What happens if the routine gets thrown out, or even worse, I don’t have a routine? Today I’ve realised just how important the early hours of the morning are to me, and how my brain then functions for the rest of the day.

Last night as usual hubby and I chatted about what was happening the next day and what we each wanted to do, what kiddo needed etc. We made a plan. Only last night due to tiredness we forgot a crucial step of the plan. The morning dog walk. How we forgot it I really don’t know.

I got up early to let the dog out and realised that I couldn’t remember the plan for this morning. Usually it’s etched in my head as during the week I practice it so much. But not at the weekends. I didn’t know what to do, but my brain was screaming at me that I needed to be occupied. So I started sorting through all our herbal tea bags, as you do.

Hubby started getting ready for his run and only then did I realise the dog walk wasn’t part of the plan. My brain went nuts. It exploded. Hubby asked me why I wasn’t having a bath, I had forgotten that was the plan. I was now a total emotional mess. My brain was chaotic. I said to hubby that the dog needed a walk and he said he would do it, but my brain was so chaotic that my response went something like this:

“It’s ok I’m sure he will be fine. No he won’t. If he has to wait then both the dog and kiddo could be hyper this morning while you’re out. Could you walk him? Don’t worry I’ll try and take him out with kiddo. Kiddo might not want to go though. Could you walk him?”

This went on for 45 minutes. Needless to say hubby was getting a bit confused about what he was supposed to be doing. He ended up walking the dog of course.

I lay in the bath trying to work out how on earth a sunday morning, which should be relaxing, had turned into utter chaos and me in tears. I hadn’t written down a routine to get me through until 9.30am. It’s like I need a jump start in the mornings. If I know what I’m doing then I stay calm and then that mood is likely to continue throughout the day.

So how do I stop this from happening? I’m going to get a white board for my fridge and the night before any non school day (and probably school days) write down all the steps I need to do before 9.30am. I’m going to give myself a manual jump start.

I’ve had a magnesium bath from Dignity PLC and now I’m going to have a cuppa with a drop of bergamot essential oil from Essentially Cathie to calm my brain down.

Happy Sunday all.