Moving from survival to our new normal.

I posted on social media about how my brain has been in shut down. It’s protecting itself from threat. For a finite amount of time this is of course absolutely fine for an adhd brain, but after a while it leaves you feeling low that you’re achieving nothing. You’re not living, you’re just waiting for each day to pass.

This week kiddo’s school have been in touch. They are offering a package to help pupils get back into school. Unfortunately this package just isn’t suitable for kiddo, it will cause him distress and potentially damage his amazing relationship he has with his teachers. The school have been fabulous, really understanding and so they are designing him a bespoke package where he can access the school grounds and see his teachers on a regular basis. I thank them fully for their efforts in doing this.

It made me realise that these circumstances are not going away soon. There is no end date to this, yet. I have to let go of what our old world looked like and move forward so that my brain can let go of its “threat” status and open up to new possibilities and opportunities.

Our new normal means the following:

• No regular school hours. That’s ok, any school hours are a blessing. Anyone from a third world country will tell you that.
• Kiddo will be at home a lot more. This means the house will be messy, chaotic and untidy. That’s ok, this is a place of safety and joy for him. I can keep one or two rooms clean and tidy for me but I must accept that I am living with a child with extreme hyperactive ADHD. He needs to feel free to be himself and he will be doing this at home a lot more often.
• There will be no 2 days with the same routine anymore. Each day will be different according to what school or respite hours we have. That’s ok, we are just so lucky to have any of those hours. I will get used to different routines on different days if I let go of the old weekday and weekend routines in my head.
• The world is changing which means new opportunities will arise. I can step forward and take these without putting myself at risk. Yes there is threat out there, but this threat can be managed if we are all sensible.
It’s not easy for someone with a brain like mine to accept such drastic changes in the world. It’s the same for our children. I wonder though, if we sat and designed what a new Tuesday or a new Saturday would look like, would we be able to really embrace our new normal? Perhaps it is time to let go of what we all had ingrained so deeply as our weekly routines and understand the priveledge we have of being able to help design our new ones.

Thanks for reading,
Danielle