I read a fabulous blog just now by Her View From Home. It talked about why mums stay up so late even when they are exhausted. Why? Because we need time to ourselves, time to think about things other than being a parent. Or in my case, a carer too.It highlighted the non stop nature of parenting, how a mother’s (or a father’s) mind is constantly whirring away with thoughts, ideas, to do lists surrounding their offspring. And on top of that, there’s holding down a job. I have a huge respect for working Mums. The constant juggle to make the day run smoothly. Moving from one environment to the next with a seamless grace. Home, school, work, childminders, after school clubs, home. Where if you’re one moment out on your scheduled timeline the whole day is thrown into chaos. Incredible job ladies, I applaud you and all that you do.
In my time as a parent carer people have often mistaken me for a stay at home mum. Understandable, I am a mum, I don’t work and I’m based from home. But reading the blog from Her View From Home earlier, I realised just how much I related to her daily routine. How much I identified with her relentless exhaustion, day in and day out. Because you don’t have to be a working mum to feel that intense exhaustion and desperation for a break in that never ending cycle of parenthood.
You could be a parent carer like me, you could be a parent with an illness or a disability, you could be a new mum finding your feet. Whatever “category” you fit in to, we all have it just as hard as each other.
Sure, my days are often fraught, filled with tears and exhaustion. But so are the days of a mum protecting her children from domestic violence, or the mum suffering from Cancer or disability herself. When I read this blog I could have instantly dismissed it, thinking it wasn’t relevant to me as I don’t have a paid job. But I’m so glad I read it. Because the words called out to me, as they would to anyone who is pushed to their limit on a daily basis. The lesson from this blog? We all need our own time, perhaps more than sleep. That’s how I viewed it anyway.
So whatever your situation in life, whatever your challenges, remember we are all in this together. Stress is relevant, tiredness is relevant. The mum with ME may get twice as much sleep as you, and still feel twice as tired. A mum like me may seem to get ten times more support than you, but it’s not even a tenth of the support she needs.
When you read my blogs, do not think I write them for sympathy. As Her View From Home wrote hers, I do it to offer support, a helping hand and a view into our world to let you know you’re not alone. But you do not need to be the parent carer of a child with autism to take solace in my writing. My words are for everyone, there is no exclusive club. My world is open to you, to make you feel supported and part of a team. Always.
Thanks for reading,