Abandoning the parenting manual…

This sight used to bring me so much upset and emotional turmoil. I felt I was being rejected as a mother. 


My own son didn’t want me.

It took over a year for me to truly understand that acts such as this, even by a two year old, were not a personal attack on me. In fact, they were absolutely nothing to do with me whatsoever. 

As adults we often express the need for personal space. You can actually be considered extremely lacking in social skills if you encroach on another adult’s personal space if not invited. So why then, do we judge a child such as mine for not wanting adults in their own personal space? Because for children, it’s deemed appropriate that they should constantly want attention. Constantly need human affection. Constantly need communication. (I’m actually exhausted just writing this list). 

But what if we were to treat children in the same way we do as adults? Respect their time alone, their time to adjust and reflect. But as I have learned over the last couple of years, most adults just can’t when it comes to children. In fact, it’s our need as adults to be loved by children. To be wanted. Whether you are the parent or not.

When it comes to autism, you can throw every parenting book out the window. 

I’ve been working with children for 17 years. And when my kiddo reached the age of one, every skill I thought I had acquired, every piece of knowledge I thought I knew, went flying out the window. 

Parenting a child with autism goes against every instinct you have as a parent. Their quiet time is sacred to them. It allows them to calm their over stimulated senses. To make sense of our world.

So if you’re trying to find your way through the swamp of parenting a child with autism, I suggest you abandon what you think you know and let your child be the one to parent you. Let them show you. It’ll be like no journey you’ve ever been on before. But a toddler with autism has the most incredible skills to guide you and make you the best possible parent you could ever be.

Thanks for reading,

Danielle 

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